As the new year is upon us and 2017 leaves us with memories, triumphs and maybe some regrets, it's important to start this new chapter of our lives remembering the good things we have done and using the not so good things as a way to learn.
We have all heard of the phrase hindsight to describe when we know what we should have done after the event has occurred but what about kindsight?
I once had a client of a year or so who mentioned kindsight in one of our sessions. She explained that instead of thinking that you should have done something differently, kindsight means to allow yourself to be ok with whatever decision it was you did make at the time. After all that's what you believed to be right then. Kindsight tells us that we should look back at our decisions with kindness to our past selves as at that time you did not know any better way to deal with the particular situation. It's not always easy to be accepting of our own selves and kindsight is extended to not beating yourself up about finding it difficult too.
Since then I have used this word in many of my sessions (where appropriate!) to ask clients if they are looking back at their previous self with hindsight or kindsight. Are you blaming your former self for not having all the answers or are you kind and understanding that as you stand now you are more knowledgeable of the situation which experience only could have helped in?
As humans I believe that we all would like to be the best possible versions of ourselves and sometimes knowing that in the past we did something that possibly affects us in the here and now negatively or not quite to our current standards can be very frustrating. We are our own biggest critics. Going on a journey of self-discovery isn’t always an easy one but it can be a little easier with a little kindsight.